Behind the Lines: by David Heiller

David Heiller Ray Schutz had the tractor ready for me when I got to his farm in Winnebago Valley on Saturday morning. A light mist was falling, and mixed with an east wind and 35 degree temperature, it was a recipe for a chilly ride home. I didn’t care though. A fine adventure was looming, and cold weather won’t dampen that. Ray gave a few pointers on the Allis WD. “The brake is locked,” he said, pointing to a wire by the right foot brake. “Step on the brake and lift it up and it will come free.” He pushed up the hydraulic lever. First the mower came up in back, then the bucket rose in front. I couldn’t ride home like that. but if he lowered the bucket, the mower would come down too. So he found a chain in his shop and bound the mower in place. Then he lowered the bucket. A typical farmer trick. Very ingenious. “Did you bring gas?” he asked. I answered yes, and unscrewed the cap in the front. “That’s the radiator,” he said, informing me that it did have antifreeze in it....

David Heiller I wonder if Albert Einstein ever went on a diet. Losing weight might have led to his discovery of the theory of relativity. The exact same weight going up looks a lot different coming down. Take the number 217, for instance. When my bathroom scale first showed me the number 217, oh so many years ago, I looked at it in shock and embarrassment. A conversation like this took place: “Two hundred seventeen? What’s wrong with this scale? Cindy, have you checked this scale lately?" David didn't feel so  good at this weight. My wife, Cindy, is always checking the scale. She has it calibrated to within a sixteenth of an ounce. She could weigh gold dust on it. “Yes honey, the scale is right,” she answered in a patient voice. I quit weighing myself shortly after that. But that didn’t stop me from gaining weight. I don’t know what I peaked at. I don’t want to know. I think 230. Cindy thinks quite a bit higher. Now the numbers are heading back down. ...

David Heiller “If you could give anyone one gift, what would it be?” We’ve asked our friends, from playmates on the playground to roommates in college, that question. When we were younger, we said things like “A million bucks,” or “That red head in biology class.” But I would bet most adults would answer, “Good health.” Three people have me thinking about good health these days, before Thanksgiving is totally digested and before Christmas roars into full commercial overdrive. First, there’s my Grandma Schnick. Grandma Schnick is Grandma Schnick was always willing to play a game of football with Noah. 92 years old. She still lives at home. She is in good health, despite a stroke and a heart attack in her past. She doesn’t drive a car, but that’s not surprising because she never drove a car. She does climb the stairs to her home above my mother several times a day, and she walks to the post office for the mail every day. I think that keeps her as healthy as her ...

David Heiller “Dad there’s a deer out in the field.” I was only half awake when Noah said that on Saturday morning. I had heard him come down the stairs at 6:15, half an hour earlier, so I got out of bed to give him a little moral support. It’s nice to have someone to mumble to before an early outing. The temperature was a balmy 32 degrees, but he had on long johns, sweat pants, wool pants, two pairs of socks, a T-neck, a jacket, a sweat shirt, a stocking cap, and choppers. For some reason, we think of deer hunting as a bone chilling experience, and Noah wasn’t taking any chances. I went back to bed, still half asleep, as Noah stepped into the dim dawn. Then he told me about the deer in the field, and I was wide awake. I stepped onto the deck, and looked at the field. I heard the deer snort before I saw it. It sounded like an air horn. It’s a loud and startling noise even when you are expecting it, and I wasn’t. “See it?” Noah asked. My eyes, even with glasses,...

David Heiller The evening grosbeaks fought for food at our feeders on Sunday. They jostled for a spot with the chickadees, nuthatches, and blue jays. So many gathered there that when someone walked around the corner of the house suddenly, they would take off with a roar that made you jump, like the sound of grouse that you scare in the woods. But they soon returned. They are bolder this time of year, because they know they have to fill up for winter. One grosbeak sat on the edge of the dog’s water dish. I walked to within five feet before it flew off. Maybe it got the idea from the blue jay that I saw on Sunday morning. It was perched on the edge of the dog food dish and calmly eating dog food. And perhaps the blue jay stole its idea from my least favorite animal. Two weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night, and headed out-side to answer nature’s call. Our dog, Ida, wanted to go outside too. I flipped on the outside light and started opening the door. At the same ...