Losing weight is a relative affair ~ November 26, 1998

David Heiller

I wonder if Albert Einstein ever went on a diet. Losing weight might have led to his discovery of the theory of relativity.

The exact same weight going up looks a lot different coming down.

Take the number 217, for instance. When my bathroom scale first showed me the number 217, oh so many years ago, I looked at it in shock and embarrassment.

A conversation like this took place: “Two hundred seventeen? What’s wrong with this scale? Cindy, have you checked this scale lately?"

David didn't feel so
 good at this weight.

My wife, Cindy, is always checking the scale. She has it calibrated to within a sixteenth of an ounce. She could weigh gold dust on it.

“Yes honey, the scale is right,” she answered in a patient voice.

I quit weighing myself shortly after that. But that didn’t stop me from gaining weight. I don’t know what I peaked at. I don’t want to know. I think 230. Cindy thinks quite a bit higher.

Now the numbers are heading back down.

About two months ago I decided enough was enough. I felt lousy. I felt fat, soft, bloated. I felt like Kent Hrbek.

So I started exercising on the Nordic Track again, and I started eating less. Fewer snacks, fewer sweets. I felt hungry all the time. But it worked. Ι started weighing myself again, and when the scale hit 217, it looked pretty good this time.

At first the pounds came off easily. Sweat poured off me during a good workout. Almost every day the scale showed a lower number. It was exciting.

That’s not the case anymore. The scale is sitting at 214. But I’ve got some things to look forward to, so I think I’ll keep losing. One is to see a zero in the middle of the three digits, such as 209. Another is to see a one at the start of the three digits, like 199.

Even then I’ll have a ways to go.

According to a “body mass index” formula for a person of my height, I have to reach 185 pounds before I am officially not overweight. I haven’t weighed 185 since I was in college 22 years ago:

Here are a few pointers

Cindy has given me a few tips at the weight loss game, which I will pass on.

First, weigh yourself right away in the morning. That’s when you weigh the least. Don’t weigh yourself in the middle of the day, or at night. Give yourself a fighting chance, and do it in the morning.

David managed to keep his weight reasonably well for most of his life. It wasn't always easy. 
This photo shows my happy, healthy, active honey in 2005.

Next, don’t get discouraged. If your weight doesn’t keep going down when you think it should, don’t worry. You’ve hit a plateau. Cindy uses that word a lot. When I grumble about not losing weight, she’ll say with great comfort and confidence, “That happens Dave. It happens. You’ve just reached a little plateau.” I haven’t reached a big plateau yet. I hope I don’t. It might turn into a foothill, or even a mountain range.

Third, know your scale. Not all scales are created equal. The other day I commented to Cindy that my weight was up a bit. A little later, after Cindy had seen where the scale was positioned, she chuckled and told me why my weight was up.

“You didn’t have the scale pulled away from the wall far enough. When it’s so close to the wall, you stand funny, and it weighs heavy.” Don’t ask me how she discovered this. It’s scary, the things a wife knows.

I could go on and on about losing weight. In fact, I do go on and on. Almost every day, I’ll ask my wife something like, “Can you tell I’ve lost a little weight?”

By now she should answer, “Yes, you idiot, you’ve lost about 20 pounds.” But she patiently says things like, “Yes honey, you’re looking great.”

Or I’ll ask her, “Do you think these pants are a little looser on me than before?” She should answer, “Yes, they used to fit like sausage casings.” But instead she says something like, “Wow, I’m so proud of you.”

I don’t know why, but I keep fishing for her positive comments. They sound as good as I feel. My stomach may not resemble a six pack, but it’s not a keg anymore either.