Between a rock and a hard place ~ June 27, 1990

David Heiller

The Kettle River showed off for us two Sundays ago, mixing beauty and power like a rose in full bloom and a Juggernaut on a winning streak.

Between County Roads 46 and 52 in northern Pine County, the river sprinkles a set of rapids every quarter mile or so. Not dangerous rapids, not Blueberry Slide or Dragon’s Tooth or those other killers at Banning State Park. Up north 20 miles, the rapids laugh WITH you, not AT you, gurgling and foaming, flexing their muscles a wee bit, letting you bump over hidden rocks just fast enough to make butterflies rise up in stomachs, just fast enough to make the kids duck their heads and close their eyes as the water bubbles by.

Our Aussie Shep., Kenzie, was David's canoe 
partner for several years. After this trip, it was quite
 a while before the kids got into a canoe 
on the Kettle River with their father.

“I’ve got to admit you made a good choice,” Cindy said as we hit a quiet stretch of water. She had asked me what I wanted to do for Father’s Day. This was my answer: borrow a canoe and paddle a few miles down the Kettle. Someday we are going to make a Boundary Waters trip. I keep telling that to my family, and to myself. Maybe that will help it come true. Maybe this was our trial run.

We scraped a few rocks here and there. One time I had to step out and push us along after we hung up on a boulder just under the surface. No one else crowded us. We had a cooler full of snacks, a beach basket full of swimming suits and towels, and of course my old transistor radio to keep tabs on the Twins, who were winning their 15th straight. It was perfect canoeing, mid-70s, sunny, a lush green-blue June day.

We came around a sharp bend, and Cindy pointed out a boulder in the channel on our left. Then she pointed out a jackpine which had tipped over on the right. It lay half-submerged, taking up a third of the 100-foot-wide channel.

The good news is we missed the boulder. But as I swung us sharply around it, the current swept us broadside into the jackpine. Then everything happened so quickly. With the water pushing us into the tree and branches scratching grabbing at us, the canoe tipped on its edge, and water rushed over the left side, sinking us down, pushing us through the limbs, kids screaming, Cindy and I hollering.

The next thing we knew, we were standing waist deep in cold, fast water, Cindy holding onto Mollie with one arm and a tree branch with the other, me holding onto Noah with one arm and my canoe paddle in the other.

(It’s a Vince Musukanis handmade paddle, with four years of memories on its blade. I had instinctively grabbed it, right after Noah.)

We stood for a brief time in mid-stream, not knowing what to say or do. We were safe. That’s all that mattered. I hauled Noah to a rocky beach on the far shore to our left, made a second trip for Malika, then finally helped Cindy, who was barefoot and wearing a denim skirt that acted like a giant anchor.

We all hugged each other. Mollie quit crying. The kids had life jackets on, but they could have been swept downstream too fast for us to catch them in time. We had been lucky.

We took stock of what we’d lost: Cindy’s and Noah’s shoes, Cindy’s paddle, our red cooler, which we had seen bobbing downstream when we tipped, and the beach basket. I guess we didn’t need the swimming suits after all. “This trip is going to cost us a couple hundred dollars,” Cindy said grimly.

“I lost my radio!” I added with a moan. My radio. It’s funny how I’d gotten attached to that old leather-cased transistor. It had been a “gift” from Deane Hillbrand, who was taking it to the dump when I rescued it. That radio had gone with me through the 1987 World Series and a last place in 1990, and hundreds of games in between. And it had gone with me till the bottom of the tenth inning on June 16, 1991 in Cleveland, with a two-run lead and one man on, and the Twins with 14 straight wins. Now it was gone. At least it died in the line of duty.

“I wonder if the Twins won?” Noah asked. We all laughed. Our priorities were straight. It was time to proceed.

I un-snagged the canoe, which was lodged under the jackpine, then managed to tip the water out and tow it back to our point. The picnic basket of swimming stuff had wedged under a seat, so that was saved. It was a good omen too. As we continued on, we found one of Cindy’s shoes, her paddle, and finally the red cooler. The river had claimed three shoes, and a radio forever suspended in extra innings.

The rest of the trip went fine. Not even a close call, just a few more sets of rapids and the same perfect day. By the time we made it to the bridge at County Road 52, we were almost dry.

It’s funny how a mini-disaster can define an adventure, or MAKE an adventure where none had been. It would have been a great trip without capsizing, but that blunder somehow made it more memorable. We laugh about it now. We wonder whether Noah’s shoes are listening to the Twins game. The kids say we saved their lives, which we don’t deny. That may come in handy sometime, never mind that it was us who almost killed them.

Rivers have a way of teaching these gentle lessons, like how to have fun, and how to steer between a rock and a hard place.

A creepy-crawly-slimey tale ~ June 14, 1990

David Heiller

I’ll never forget the day.

Jake, a friend of our son’s, came to visit and with a certain gleam in his eye, dumped a bag full of plastic dead flies on the kitchen floor.

I stared in disbelief. I mean, my jaw dropped. We have approximately 1,493 REAL dead flies on our bedroom window sill upstairs on any given morning, and Jake brings in a pile of fake ones!?!

Noah and Jake with a wooden lizard; 
one of many in a play menagerie

“Why dead plastic flies?” you may ask. I puzzled over that for quite some time too. Until Jake brought along his plastic tarantula.

Hold on. This is no ordinary plastic tarantula. Not like the weak pretenders of my youth. Those were brittle, cheap pieces of Japanese junk.

Jake’s tarantula is supple and subtle. Delicate and deadly. Black, with a hint of orange around the eyes, and white rings on the leg joints and the fangs. The kind of spider that crawls toward sleeping women in late-night jungle movie moonlight. It looks real. Like it could eat those plastic dead flies, and a few live ones, and a few 36-year-old men thrown in for dessert.

You see, Jake’s tarantula isn’t life-size. It’s more the size of Kent Hrbek’s baseball glove.

It also squeaks when you step on it, which I have done a few times in the middle of the night, with me making approximately the same sound as the spider.

Noah fell in love with Jake’s tarantula as only a six-year-old kid can fall in love with a tarantula. Star-crossed spiders. He would borrow it on every occasion. Jake would extort great collateral for it. Huge piles of dinosaurs. A fleet of Tonka toys that would shame some city maintenance crews. Anything for that tarantula.

So we shouldn’t have been surprised. We should have prepared ourselves. Noah celebrated his seventh birthday last Saturday with three friends, including Jake the Snake, and Jake had that Dead Fly gleam in his eye as he handed Noah the package, and Noah ripped it open and got that Dead Fly gleam in his eye and held up his very own giant tarantula.

“Look, Noah, it’s just like mine,” Jake said, reaching into a paper bag and pulling out his famous tarantula. I recognized it right away. And sure enough, Jake had found a first cousin. Noah’s had an orange back, red eyes, and a bit of green on the back. The hairs on the torso were longer, softer. Otherwise they might have come from the same batch of eggs.

Noah loved all manner of creatures, 
real and pretend, modern era and prehistoric. 
Here he is with a pterodactyl that Grandma 
Olson gave him for one of those birthdays. 

They also played with other gifts, including a black snake, coiled and ready to strike, and a set of 24 plastic bugs ranging from a Gigantic Ship Scorpion and Great Diving Beetle to a Death’s Head Hawk Moth and a Sheep Tick. Yes, we now have a plastic tick in our house to go along with the 1,493 REAL ticks that live in our front lawn.

It’s Jake’s fault.

Cindy called it “The Creepy-Crawly-Slimey Birthday.” An understatement.

After the kids had all returned to their homes, Noah discovered that Jake had forgotten his tarantula. He showed both spiders to me Monday night, lying in his bed in the moonlight. He pointed out their differences in a matter of fact voice. Like a scientist. Then he looked at me and smiled. What did he see in my eyes? Certainly not abject fear. No way.

I kissed Noah good night and brought the two tarantulas downstairs, to study them. I set them on my computer and watched them.

Just sat. And studied. And watched. And waited.

Did one of them just move?

Coming in from the rain ~ June 6, 1991

David Heiller

The sound made us pause in the garden on Saturday afternoon like a couple of muck-covered deer.

It sounded like cars on a distant highway, the low, steady sound of rubber hissing on cement, and coming our way in the still air from the southwest.

Cindy and I looked at each other for a second, puzzled. There is no interstate highway connecting Arthyde and Sturgeon Lake. Heck, there are hardly any roads at all. Then we realized that it was a rain shower, its heavy drops hitting the leaves and forest that stretch from Denham west to McGrath, and heading our way.

It was pretty darned rainy!

We’d never heard rain approach like that before. Usually you feel it in the wind as it switches and swirls and turns cold. Or you smell the ozone, or hear thunder. This was just the simple, powerful sound of a blanket of rain ambling like a huge animal through the woods toward us two hapless gardeners.

Sure enough, as the sound grew louder and the highway got closer, we felt drops of rain, at first sporadic, then heavy and steady. Noah Landwehr, who was mowing our lawn, glanced up, then looked our way. “I’m going to keep mowing,” he shouted. I knew he would say that. Even 12-year-olds get fed up with too much rain, which experts say we’ve had, although these experts said we didn’t have enough rain last year at this time.

“I’ll get you a coat,” I answered back, heading for the house for a couple of jackets, one for me and one for him. Cindy soon followed for her coat and two caps, one for her and one for Noah who looked like he’d been run hard and put away wet.

The rain rolled off my coat, drenching my slacks, working its way to inside the tall boots which were heavy with mud. Cindy’s hair hung bedraggled under her cap. Noah mowed on, right through puddles three inches deep, water and grass flying everywhere, like he was water skiing behind a 3½ horsepower Briggs and Stratton. He gave us a sheepish grin and kept on.

“We put the garden in in the rain 10 years ago,” Cindy said as she worked some Frank Larson Angus manure into the soil.

“How can you remember that?” I asked. I can tell you Ted Williams’ batting average in 1940, but I can’t remember working the garden in the rain in 1981.

“It was our first year here, and I remember it rained so much that we planted the garden in the rain,” she said.

Ten years. I’d forgotten that. Things stand out so much when they are new. That was our first garden, and it WAS a wet one. I remembered now, vaguely. We had been as excited as a couple of kids, at our first home, at our adventure in the country, and at our rich garden soil, oozing earthworms and loam and the potential for vegetables that could win first place at the Askov Rutabaga Festival. So excited we hadn’t had the sense to come in from the rain. I guess some things never change.

The rain finally let up, and we straggled inside, and dried off, and had root beer floats in celebration of our crazy mowing and gardening. But we didn’t feel crazy.

You see, normally you don’t mow lawn in the rain, or pull weeds or shape garden beds in the rain. Mothers teach you not to do such things. Grandmas say things like, “He doesn’t have the sense to come in from the rain.” But on Saturday, none of us hesitated. We’d had one too many rain showers this spring, and we all seemed to realize that God would forgive our lack of common sense, working in the rain like this. Heck, maybe He was even testing, to see what we were made of.

I guess He found out, and I think we passed. They say He shaped us from clay anyway. It must have been wet.

Important things, like baseball ~ June 2, 1994

by David Heiller

 Taking an eight-year-old to a ball game is a lot like taking an eight-year-old fishing. You don’t catch many fish, but that’s OK because you don’t expect to anyway.

You hope the eight-year-old catches the fish. You hope they enjoy it and take it up as a past time. Anyone who likes to fish can’t be all bad.

That’s the way I feel about baseball. It drives my wife crazy, the biggest scuzz-ball in Pine County is all right with me if he likes baseball.

What if Jeffrey Dahmer liked baseball? Cindy will ask. She likes to throw philosophical curve-balls. Would you like HIM?

I have to stop and think about that one for a few minutes. Well, he can’t be ALL bad.

Malika on her way to the big game with daddy.
Her daddy would be so proud to know that it
 did stick, that his daughter is a Twins fan!

So I took my daughter to a Twins game on Friday night, May 27. She brought a huge appetite. She won’t eat beef stroganoff that Cindy works on for an hour on Sunday. But take her to a Perkin’s Restaurant before a Twins game and she’ll order ground steak with cheese on toast with French fires for $6.95.

At the Metrodome the prices were as crazy as her appetite. A rope of licorice for $1.25, a box of popcorn for $2.25, a glass of pop for $2.25. (Not to mention my beer, which cost $3.50.)

She was disappointed about her pop too: no straw. She asked the vendor, “Sir, do you have any straws?”

“Sorry, no straws,” he answered. What fun is it to drink pop without a straw? What kind of a ball park is this?

Malika asked a ga-zillion questions. “Did that ball that one guy hit ever come down?” she asked as we approached the stadium. I’ve told her enough times about the time Dave Kingman hit a ball in the Metrodome that never came down. It became stuck in the ceiling. The story is etched in her mind.

“No. Maybe we’ll see it tonight,” I answered.

What holds the ceiling up? Why are those guys stretching? Can I have ice cream like that girl? Why are there so many empty seats? Is this the Twins Metrodome?” Ad infinatum.

Baseball is important business.

Sometimes I would forget that I was sitting next to an eight-year-old. I’d make some shrewd baseball comment, like: “Bases loaded. Three and one count. Man he’s going to get a good pitch to hit.”

To which Mollie would answer, “I’m hungry, Dad.”

In the seventh inning, manager Tom Kelly took the starting pitcher, Kevin Tapani out of the game. I shrewdly pointed this out to Mollie. “You mean Scott Erickson isn’t going to be the pitcher any more?” Mollie asked.

“No, Tapani is pitching.”

“Where’s Scott Erickson?”

“He’s on the disabled list.”

“What’s the disabled list?”

AAAAGH!

In the eighth inning, Mollie asked, “What’s the score?” Five to two, I told her.

“Who’s ahead?”

How can you not know who’s ahead? I thought. Then I stopped. That’s when it finally sank in. I was fishing with Mollie. I didn’t need to catch any fish. I wanted Mollie to catch some fish. I wanted her to like fishing. Anyone who likes to fish can’t be all bad.

So it is with baseball. We play catch at home, and my daughter can hit the ball all right too. We go to a game once a year or so. Maybe, if the stars line up just right, she’ll learn to love the game.

She’ll remember the starting lineup of the 1987 Minnesota Twins. She might not remember her husband’s birthday, but by golly she’ll know that Joe Dimaggio hit in 56 straight in 1941. The same year that Ted Williams hit .406. The last player to hit .400. Important things like that.

Like going fishing, and taking your eight-year-old to a ball game.

[Cynthia's note: I used to ask David, "What's the score." He would answer by saying JUST the score... two numbers separated by the word to. So then I would have to ask which number was currently assigned to which team. He always thought I should just KNOW these things. Just a David-ism...]

Holy Moley, Mollie ~ April 20, 1989

 

David Heiller

My daughter, Malika, is good friends with Becky Lourey. There’s a 40 year gap in age between them, but they still have established a good friendship.

I like Becky for a lot of reasons that Mollie doesn’t understand. Her convictions, her caring, her enthusiasm, her family commitment, even her organizational skills. How can you not like someone who is so organized that she folds her family’s dirty laundry before washing it?

Mollie doesn’t understand those things, but she does understand a friendly face, moles and all.
Let me explain. It started at the Embassy Bar in Sturgeon Lake last fall. Becky

A mole-less Becky.

had a fundraiser there in preparation for her Minnesota House of Representative race with Doug Carlson. Becky, like a good politician, hugged Mollie, and talked to her. Mollie hugged back. She seemed to feel the energy, the glint in Becky’s eyes. Four-year-olds have a lot of energy, and glinty eyes too. Becky knows how to talk to kids, what with 11 kids of her own to practice on.

And Mollie liked Becky Lourey for another reason—her moles. Mollie touched the one on Becky’s forehead, and the one on her cheek. Becky let her too, and explained what moles are, if anyone really knows what moles are.

I don’t know why Mollie liked the moles so much, but I have a hunch that they were special because they were something she didn’t have, and therefore something she wanted.

Mollie didn’t forget Becky after that. Often when we would drive past the Embassy Bar, she would say, “There’s Becky’s house!”

But Becky showed up at a party three weeks ago with no moles in sight. Mollie took notice, and took offense. Becky explained that the mole on her forehead had swelled up, and started to hurt. Her doctor advised taking it out, along with the one on her cheek and several others farther south. Mollie didn’t buy that. Becky finally took her aside and asked that she be forgiven for taking off the moles. Mollie agreed. Becky asked, “Do you still love me?” and Mollie said yes. She has a kind heart for a four-year-old.

But the next day I wasn’t so sure. As we drove past the Embassy Bar and Mollie made her remark about Becky’s home, I asked her if she’d had a nice visit with Becky.

“She took my moles off, too,” Mollie claimed. “Hurts my cheeks and I got blood.”

“I don’t see blood,” I said.

^“No, yesterday I went to the doctor,” she insisted. “One day the doctor took off my moles and then threw them in the garbage. I didn’t like them take off.”

“Do you still like Becky?” I asked.

Mollie nodded. “But if she takes any moles off, I won’t like her anymore,” she said.

That answered my question, sort of, and I have since dropped the subject. No point in making a mountain out of a mole hill. But I hope Mollie can overcome her prejudice of the mole-free Becky Lourey. They’ve got too much in common, too much of a budding friendship. Then maybe Mollie can even run for political office, and be an Outstanding Minnesota Woman too.

~drh

The next week we received a hand written note complete with a drawing for Malika. It completes this tale. Becky has had many more losses that are too difficult to bear, as have we. Malika and Becky remained close over the years, Malika considering Becky her mentor. Here is the note from Becky to little Mollie:

~Dear Mollie~

I hear that you miss my moles. I do too! One day last week, I held a little child and when he, reached his hand out toward my face, I thought he was going to touch my mole, and then I remembered that it was not there_. My face is not as much fun for children as it used to be

This picture is supposed to be me and I Put the moles on with a sticky paper so you can take them off and put -them on until you are really ready for them to be gone. (Here is where Becky added a lovely self portrait)

I thought that I would tell you a sad story that explains why I feel okay about losing my moles. There, are some things we might not want to lose, but we can stand to lose them. And then there are some things that when we lose them, we miss all of our lives. It is important to remember the difference, so that we can get over losing the things we like but don’t really need.

Once we had a little son who died because his heart wasn’t made right and so it couldn’t work right. Forever and forever I will miss him. And so I know that the moles aren’t as important, and I can let them go.

I bet you can think of things that you would never ever want to lose, and,then think of things that you could get along without if you lost them.

I can stand to lose my moles, but I sure couldn’t, stand to lose your friendship, Mollie.

love, BECKY

A little peace and quiet ~ July 24, 1997

David Heiller

That’s what we experienced last week. Peace and quiet. Our two kids were gone.

Mollie went to camp, and Noah went to visit a friend. So from Tuesday to Friday,

Malika was at camp.

we didn’t have the kids at home.

This has happened a few times in the last 14 years, but usually not for more than a day at a time. A four day stretch was a lot different. It took us back to the good old days, and maybe to some new days ahead.

When we came home from work on Tuesday, we could lie on the bed and read. We didn’t have to start making supper right away.

The house was quiet. The kids weren’t there to tell us about the blow-by-blow of their day, what Noah said to Mollie, what Mollie did back to Noah.

The house was clean, just like we left it in the morning. We could actually see our dining room table. It wasn’t piled with a basket of laundry and a couple books and a wrinkled newspaper.

The floor didn’t need sweeping, the living room didn’t need to be picked up. We didn’t have to ask Noah to put his shoes away, or Mollie to take her dirty clothes to the laundry room.

There were no basketball games to play, no softballs to toss, no chores to supervise. No arguing!

Hey, Dad, play some basketball with me?

No Sepultura. No Hanson. Those are music groups, in case you don’t have teenagers. They’re not my favorites, to put it politely. But my kids don’t like my music either.

On Wednesday we left work early and went to Duluth. We took our bikes along, and rode through the ritzy areas looking at mansions. We found a book store in someone’s house and browsed through used books. That was fun. One form of heaven for me would be a good used book store, and all the time in the world to spend there.

We ate supper at Taste of Saigon, bought candy at Hephzibah’s, and walked the board walk to the rose garden. Not once did we think about calling home to check on the kids.

A date is always nice!

We came home to a dark and quiet house. We were childless again.

We did think about the kids, Cindy more than me. We wondered especially about Mollie, how she was doing at camp. She never wrote, so we took that as a good sign, that she was having too much fun, or that she was too exhausted. Or both.

We enjoyed our time alone. It was a break. We were able to get a lot done. Not just work, but “quality time,” to use a phrase from the nineties.

Spouses need that, so they can become a couple again.

During their absence, I wondered what our life would be like without children. I kind of liked all that peace and quiet! A sense of freedom returned, that old feeling that I could go anywhere and do anything.

“Simplify, simplify,” Henry David Thoreau’s famous words, came to mind. The details of our life had simplified greatly without the kids: The big picture details that are a constant presence in the back of my mind, like how we’ll save enough money to send the kids to college. And the mundane ones, like how we’re going to get the kids to and from swimming lessons.

All together again!

Then it all changed, when a car door opened on Friday night and I heard Noah’s voice call out, “Hi Dad.” It was like a bolt traveled through the air between us, connecting us, triggered by his voice, by those two words, and I forgot about my new-found freedom.

On Saturday it happened again, when Mollie called me at work and asked if she could have Sarah spend the night. She was home, safe and sound! Wow, it was good to hear her voice.

It was good to give them hugs. It was good to have them back.

On the one hand, it would be nice not to have the worry and complications that our children bring. I’m envious of childless couples for that reason.

But on the other hand, I wouldn’t trade them for all the gold in Birch Creek township.

Just a game of catch ~ May 17, 2001

by David Heiller

Noah came out of the house on Sunday evening carrying a baseball and two gloves, and I was reminded once again why spring is my favorite season.

David and the kids.

I got up from weeding the garden and walked over. He tossed me my glove. It was flat and soft and to my vivid imagination, almost eager for my touch. We walked to our favorite spot for playing catch, he at one end of the driveway and me at the other.

We tossed the ball back and forth. I said to keep it high so I could see it against the sky. My right eye is still healing from a cornea transplant, and I can’t see very well from it yet.

We talked about a lot of things, both trivial and profound. It’s funny how doing a familiar activity like playing catch can unplug the conversational sink. It isn’t always that easy getting a 17-year-old boy—or a 47-year-old man—to do that. But give a guy a ball and glove and he will sing like a canary.

She's just his daughter.

And on all kinds of subjects. Simple things like the Twins game. Or important stuff, like one of life’s struggles. They all seem to carry equal weight during a game of catch and they all somehow seem to be more manageable from the effort.

When Noah and I were done, Mollie met me by the deck with her glove. “My turn,” she said, and we had a repeat performance.

When the kids were smaller, we used to play catch before the bus would come. The house was hectic with getting up and dressed and eating breakfast, but there usually seemed to be about five minutes before the school bus would come in the morning, and we would get in a few throws.

Sometimes I wouldn’t get a taker when I asked for this game of catch. In fact, the kids would go through streaks where they seemed to take pleasure in saying no to my request, like I was an idiot for asking. They were too cool. But ask I did, every morning, and sooner or later, maybe just to shut me up, they would relent and grab their gloves.

That’s why seeing Noah walk out with the gloves on Sunday night felt so good. The tables had been turned. He was asking me to play catch, and I tried very hard not to run to him when I saw what he was holding. Be cool, Dad, it’s just a game of catch.

He's just his son.

Just a game of catch. In a sense, that’s right. It hardly warrants a column in the newspaper.

On the other hand, a game of catch is your childhood, your best friend, your brother. It’s your kids, your dad, your neighbors. It’s spring, a fresh breeze, new life. It’s the freedom of summer just around the corner. It’s blackbirds on the highline wires, and kids going to the beach, and baseball games that you wish would never end. It’s Mom and apple pie and the Fourth of July and the World Series.

It’s a part of us all. Strip away Einstein’s brilliant layers, and I bet you’ll find a game of catch.

That pretty girl over there is just your daughter, that handsome young man your son.

That book on the shelf is just the Bible. That woman with the golden smile is just your wife.

And it’s just a game of catch.