Trying to solve a Christmas mystery ~ December 24, 1987

David Heiller

Gremlins Come Out at Christmas, the newspaper headline read. Santa’s Elves Discovered in Birch Creek Farmhouse?

DENHAM, [A.Ρ.] A set of strange occurrences have set the scientific world abuzz in this rural Minnesota community.

The David and Cindy Heiller household has been the site of several baffling mysteries that may be related to Old St. Nick himself.

Christmas tree ornaments have been found lying underneath the white spruce that they cut two weeks ago. The ornaments were hung several feet of the floor by the homeowners themselves. Several defy Newton’s Law to rest on the floor at the end of every day.

Look! A clue!

Tiny stars which Cindy Heiller stuck above a cut-out of a horse and sleigh on the kitchen window have been moved down into a crooked line above the sleigh. “They’re just sticky things you put on windows,” the baffled Cindy tried to explain. “They don’t move by themselves.”

The family’s nativity scene, with its ceramic Wise Men and cattle, has also been disrupted. The figures are often found arranged in different numeric patterns, shaped into a six or a seven, like something you might see on Sesame Street. Experts have yet to explain the significance of the numbers.

And Christmas cookies have been disappearing almost as fast as they come from the oven.

Several area Santa Clauses have been asked about the puzzle. Walter Price, speaking on behalf of the Willow River Santa, offered only “Ho-ho-ho.” Cindy Nelson, the personal secretary of the Askov Santa, put her finger aside her nose and disappeared up the Partridge Cafe chimney.

The Heiller family dog, Binti, has been seen drinking water from the Christmas tree stand, but couldn’t have lifted the ornaments from the tree, experts say. The family cat, Miss Emma, has been observed examining the nativity scene at close range, but doesn’t know her numbers, much less watch Sesame Street. She has been seen on the counter next to Christmas cookies, but is not big enough to carry them away.

 "Baby Tato"  and little Malika

David Heiller said he knew nothing, although he admitted to eating “one or two” cookies. When asked whether his weight had risen above 205 pounds, he pleaded the Fifth Amendment and swore at the First.

The Heillers’ two children, Noah and Malika, have been no help to authorities. Malika, a.k.a. Mollie, even added to the puzzle when she displayed two Wise men and the Virgin Mary in her purse. She admitted they came from the “King-Gum”. The figures were found next to a potato, a.k.a. Tato, which is now quite long in the tooth since it came from Nolan’s cellar a month ago. Asked to comment, the two-and-a-half year old  recited the words to Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

Noah, more eloquent at age four and a half, fell back on a line learned at a recent Sunday School pageant. “This is Joseph, this is Mary,” he said, making figures with his fingers. “Can I have another cookie, Daddy?”

The Pine County Sheriff’s Department is investigating the case.

“Don’t look for any answers soon, a sheriff’s spokesperson said, “Nobody panic. Just relax, enjoy your family. Sing a few Christmas carols. Dance around the tree if you’re Danish or so inclined.

“Oh yeah, have a Merry Christmas too.”