Holy Moley, Mollie ~ April 20, 1989

 

David Heiller

My daughter, Malika, is good friends with Becky Lourey. There’s a 40 year gap in age between them, but they still have established a good friendship.

I like Becky for a lot of reasons that Mollie doesn’t understand. Her convictions, her caring, her enthusiasm, her family commitment, even her organizational skills. How can you not like someone who is so organized that she folds her family’s dirty laundry before washing it?

Mollie doesn’t understand those things, but she does understand a friendly face, moles and all.
Let me explain. It started at the Embassy Bar in Sturgeon Lake last fall. Becky

A mole-less Becky.

had a fundraiser there in preparation for her Minnesota House of Representative race with Doug Carlson. Becky, like a good politician, hugged Mollie, and talked to her. Mollie hugged back. She seemed to feel the energy, the glint in Becky’s eyes. Four-year-olds have a lot of energy, and glinty eyes too. Becky knows how to talk to kids, what with 11 kids of her own to practice on.

And Mollie liked Becky Lourey for another reason—her moles. Mollie touched the one on Becky’s forehead, and the one on her cheek. Becky let her too, and explained what moles are, if anyone really knows what moles are.

I don’t know why Mollie liked the moles so much, but I have a hunch that they were special because they were something she didn’t have, and therefore something she wanted.

Mollie didn’t forget Becky after that. Often when we would drive past the Embassy Bar, she would say, “There’s Becky’s house!”

But Becky showed up at a party three weeks ago with no moles in sight. Mollie took notice, and took offense. Becky explained that the mole on her forehead had swelled up, and started to hurt. Her doctor advised taking it out, along with the one on her cheek and several others farther south. Mollie didn’t buy that. Becky finally took her aside and asked that she be forgiven for taking off the moles. Mollie agreed. Becky asked, “Do you still love me?” and Mollie said yes. She has a kind heart for a four-year-old.

But the next day I wasn’t so sure. As we drove past the Embassy Bar and Mollie made her remark about Becky’s home, I asked her if she’d had a nice visit with Becky.

“She took my moles off, too,” Mollie claimed. “Hurts my cheeks and I got blood.”

“I don’t see blood,” I said.

^“No, yesterday I went to the doctor,” she insisted. “One day the doctor took off my moles and then threw them in the garbage. I didn’t like them take off.”

“Do you still like Becky?” I asked.

Mollie nodded. “But if she takes any moles off, I won’t like her anymore,” she said.

That answered my question, sort of, and I have since dropped the subject. No point in making a mountain out of a mole hill. But I hope Mollie can overcome her prejudice of the mole-free Becky Lourey. They’ve got too much in common, too much of a budding friendship. Then maybe Mollie can even run for political office, and be an Outstanding Minnesota Woman too.

~drh

The next week we received a hand written note complete with a drawing for Malika. It completes this tale. Becky has had many more losses that are too difficult to bear, as have we. Malika and Becky remained close over the years, Malika considering Becky her mentor. Here is the note from Becky to little Mollie:

~Dear Mollie~

I hear that you miss my moles. I do too! One day last week, I held a little child and when he, reached his hand out toward my face, I thought he was going to touch my mole, and then I remembered that it was not there_. My face is not as much fun for children as it used to be

This picture is supposed to be me and I Put the moles on with a sticky paper so you can take them off and put -them on until you are really ready for them to be gone. (Here is where Becky added a lovely self portrait)

I thought that I would tell you a sad story that explains why I feel okay about losing my moles. There, are some things we might not want to lose, but we can stand to lose them. And then there are some things that when we lose them, we miss all of our lives. It is important to remember the difference, so that we can get over losing the things we like but don’t really need.

Once we had a little son who died because his heart wasn’t made right and so it couldn’t work right. Forever and forever I will miss him. And so I know that the moles aren’t as important, and I can let them go.

I bet you can think of things that you would never ever want to lose, and,then think of things that you could get along without if you lost them.

I can stand to lose my moles, but I sure couldn’t, stand to lose your friendship, Mollie.

love, BECKY