We’re going to miss the sauna ~ July 3, 2003

David Heiller

The Sauna Equilibrium Ratio is high these days.

It’s not a statistic that you hear from Collin Ventrella during the 10 o’clock news, but it’s a good barometer at our house.

Here’s how it works:

You take a sauna until you are too hot to stand it anymore. Then you go outside until you are too cold to stand it anymore. That is your Sauna Equilibrium Ratio.

What was the Sauna Equilibrium Ratio 
on this day? I still miss my sauna.

For example, if you take a 45 minute sauna, then stand outside for five minutes, the Sauna Equilibrium Ratio is 45:5 (or 9:1).

In mid-winter, with the temperature below zero and a west wind, the Sauna Equilibrium Ratio is 45:0.

Some evenings, when the temperature is mild and the bugs have gone to bed, you can have an infinite Sauna Equilibrium Ratio. It’s one of life’s simple pleasures if you live in the country. I still vividly remember one evening earlier this year. I had just taken a sauna, and was lying on the picnic table, totally drained in both mind and body, which is what a good sauna can do.

Off in the distance I heard a whippoorwill calling, Whip-poor-will, whip-poor-will, whip-poor-will, repeating his name in a greeting, on and on. That brought a smile. We have lived at our friendly home in the country for 22 years, yet I had never heard a whippoorwill calling before that, and I haven’t heard it since. It was a great reward for checking out the Sauna Equilibrium Ratio.

Having a nice pond helps the Sauna Equilibrium Ratio too. If I get too hot in the sauna, and can barely breathe and my legs start to wobble, I stumble to the pond and dive in. Then the weakness and heat disappear in a heartbeat. The pond is cold and clear. One side of me dreads the dive. But once in it, I am amazed at how refreshing it feels. Without the sauna, swimming in the pond would be as inviting as Lake Superior. But with the sauna, the pond, feels just fine—for at least 30 seconds.

Another fine way to end a sauna is to sit in a lightly falling rain. It’s very soothing.

Even those bitter winter nights are rewarding—they make me realize how vulnerable the human body is, and how much I value a nice, warm house.

One time I wrote about the sauna many years ago, then heard that a neighbor was making fun of me, like there was something not quite right with this sauna stuff. That made me think, “What’s wrong with that person?” She could have benefited from the Sauna Equilibrium Ratio.

Cindy and I are going to be leaving our beautiful home soon. There are many things that I will miss. The sauna will be close to the top of the list.