Editors
note:
This must have the melody from the old Johnny Cash song: “I’ve Been
Everywhere” playing in your head in order to make any sense of this.
David
wrote it for the staff Christmas party in 1990, and sang it every Christmas
party thereafter. He also sang it to hoots at the variety show most Rutabaga
Festivals.
Pronounciation
is key, so I will give a few clues for non-northern Pine County types who
actually want to try to read this:
Trygve:
Trigvee,
Lunde:
Lundee,
Krabbe:
Crabbie,
Bagge:
Baggee,
Kukuk:
Cookoo,
Klocke:
Clockee,
Loew:
Low.
In
the end though, I know the song, and the names, and the people, and I don’t
know how David managed to actually sing this! But he did.
~chg
A song for Hazel: She calls everywhere
David Heiller
Hazel Serritslev writes the Askov news for the Askov American, and she
writes it well, in my humble opinion. Sometimes people bring news items in, or
call her with tidbits of their lives, where they’ve been, who’s been visiting.
And sometimes Hazel calls them. And calls them. And calls them.
There never seems to be a shortage of Askov news. Sometimes it even has
to be “jumped” to an inside page because it won’t all fit on the back page.
Sometimes I give her a hard time about that. I’ll complain that she’s
taking up too much room, that she’s doing her job TOO well. But she knows I’m
teasing. Don’t you, Hazel?
Actually, I’m amazed at the number of names she can fit into one week’s
worth of Askov news. I even wrote a song about it. It’s titled, “I’ve Called
Everywhere.”
It goes to the tune to “I’ve Been Everywhere.”
Sing it for Hazel the next time she calls.
CHORUS:
I’ve called everywhere, man.
 |
| Hazel, always, always on the job! |
I’ve called everywhere, man.
The telephone repairman
Is pulling out his hair, man.
Askovites, beware, man:
I’ve called everywhere.
I called John and
Clara, Red and Hedda,
Delpha, Hilma, Mag
and Vivian,
Wilma, Happy, Mettie,
Della,
Emery, Valborg, Ralph and Trygve,
Arla, Ardis, Bruce and Lynnie,
Arild, Faye—Oh,what a day!
CHORUS
I called Jens Lund, Ecklund, Lunde,
Lundgren,
Sodergren, Nedegaard, Lappegaard,
Molgaard,
 |
| David was always willing to sing his silly songs for people. Including the infamous Hazel's Song. |
Seefeldt,
Sebald, Degerstrom, Lindstrom,
Kukuk, Klocke,
Ziegler, Zaudtke,
Loew and Lundquist.
Don’t forget Wahlquist.
CHORUS
I called Frederiksen, Thomsen,
Petersen, Andersen,
Jensen, Johnsen,
Hansen, Larsen,
Christensen,
Clausen, Jessen, Hermansen,
Nelson, Nielsen,
Mortensen, Madsen,
Johansen, Erickson, Jorgensen,
Sorensen,
I even called a Cluett,
I guess that’ll do it.
CHORUS
