The freedom to do nothing ~ September 28, 1995

David Heiller

Our 10-year-old daughter informed us at supper last week that she wanted to quit piano lessons. She is too busy, she told us.

Piano days are done.

She has homework every night. She has joined fifth grade choir at Willow River, and is going to start taking clarinet lessons for the school band.

Then there’s Girl Scouts every other Monday, and piano lessons every Thursday after school.

And I know parents whose children are even busier, for example, who play hockey.

If you look up the word “busy” in a dictionary, it will say: “See hockey parent.” I get confused just listening to their schedules.

It doesn’t get any easier as the children get older, from what I’ve seen. There are sports, and pep band, and marching band, and National Honor Society and annual staff, and maybe a part-time job at the Dairy Queen.

Malika doing some wonderful "nothing"

We said no to Mollie’s request. We think piano lessons are important. But I couldn’t stop myself from asking this question: When do kids get to be kids anymore?

Yes, I know I sound old when I say something like that. And yes, when I was my daughter’s age, my friends and I were busy enough.

But we didn’t have organized activities like today. We had a Boy Scout meeting once a month, with a hike or camping trip every so often. That was about the extent of our adult-led activities.

Our football games were organized by a telephone call or two. Or else everyone would just congregate at the playground for a game. There was always a game going on, either football or softball or basketball, depending on the season.

We would explore by the river, or hunt squirrels, or go fishing, or walk along the railroad tracks looking for fossils. We would ride our bikes around town, or play at the school grounds.

David exercising his freedom to do nothing too!

You probably have your own list of carefree childhood memories. I bet they bring a smile to your face. You can learn a lot from things like that, from just acting your age and having the freedom to do nothing.

My daughter and one of her friends are building a playhouse now in their spare time. They have needed some help from me, but I’ve kept it to a minimum. Mostly it is their fort, and it shows by the crooked siding and bent nails. Sometimes they argue over who should do what, but the importance of the playhouse soon smoothes any ruffled feathers.

They are learning some carpentry skills. They are learning not to be afraid to try something new. They are learning how to work together. All very important lessons.

It makes me happy to see them do this, or to see them jump on the trampoline or explore the old house next door.

When they are my age, I bet they remember their free time more than all those other things that are making their life hectic.